


[DISCONTINUED] No name only despair

by PeeledEyelids



Category: Danganronpa, Drv2, danganronpa2
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22243822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeeledEyelids/pseuds/PeeledEyelids
Summary: Uhhhh rarepair fic bc if nobody else will make one then i willAlso this is a slow burnI apologize for any grammatical mistakes or any other stuff im doing this on my phone and I haven’t written in like. Years.I just love Nekomaru/hajime sorryALSO I NEED TO SAY THIS IS KIND OF AN AU THING WHERE LIKE. MONOKUMA AND USAMI ARE GOOD GUYS AND THEYVE ALL BEEN ON THE ISLAND COEXISTING PEACEFULLY UNTIL LAST WEEK AGO WHEN BYAKUYA GOT STABBED EVERYONE IS LIKE AN ADULT NOW HAJIME IS 18 AND NEKOMARU IS 19 THE END OF THE WORLD STILL HAPPENED AND THEYRE ON THIS ISLAND BC SAFE OKAY THANKS FOR READING BYE
Relationships: Hajime/Nekomaru, hinidai
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	1. Confusion b like that

Confusion. 

If there’s one thing Hajime Hinata was getting used to feeling, it was confusion. (Of course it goes without being said that he had begun to feel used to despair as well.) After all he was stuck on an island with missing memories and people he didn’t know that well, or at all, for that matter. He was being lead around by talking stuffed animals and someone he was beginning to call friend had been stabbed to death. He had a lot to be confused about. Monokuma and Usami swore up and down that nothing bad would ever happen and yet, Byakuya was gone.   
Dammit Teruteru. You could have just told someone, anyone about Nagito. Now you’re gone too.   
That was another confusing thing, to Hajime. Why hadn’t these memories been erased yet?   
Perhaps it’s some cruel punishment to remind everyone what will happen if they ever try to replicate what happened to Byakuya. Maybe it’s because Monokuma accidentally broke Usami’s ‘magic stick’ with his grand entrance. Maybe it’ll take a long time, just like the first time his memories were stolen from him.   
Whatever it was, he still had these memories. 

He sat on the edge of his bed, considering just not getting up at all.   
Decidedly, he sank back down into his bedsheets, closing his eyes for a good morning nap.   
That nap never came. 

A loud knock at his cottage door startled him out of his half-sleep state. He annoyedly stared at the door, hoping whoever it was would just take a hint and go away. They did not.   
Another knock came, louder than before, making the door shake along its frame. Why couldn’t they just use the doorbell??  
Another knock, loud enough to make Hajime seriously worry about how well the hinges would hold up if it took any more of this abuse. He sat up, shouting  
.   
‘’J-Just a second, okay?!”

The knocking ceased, clearly pleased with the response.   
He sighed, warily, sliding out of the comfortable warmth and trudging to his door. Tentatively, he opened it, peeking through the crack to decide whether to be welcoming or not. 

A large figure stood there, towering over him, and beaming brightly. “GOOD MORNING HAJIME!!” 

Hajime startled, pulling his door further open. He decided it was best not to spoil their mood just because he wasnt feeling it today. 

“‘Mornin’ Nekomaru. What’s up?”

Nekomaru chuckles heartily. “Speak from your stomach Hajime!! You’re so quiet, you know?!”

Hajime raised an eyebrow. Nekomaru coughs slightly, his smile fading a little. 

“Anyways! You never came to the restaurant and we all got a little worried! I decided I would be the one to come help you greet the day!!” 

Hajime sneeks a peek behind Nekomaru, half expecting to see everyone else behind him. Luckily, he had been spared. He gives a half smile to Nekomaru and shrugs.

“I’m just not feeling like a team player today, I guess.”

Nekomaru stares down at him, completely bewildered at the statement.   
“Not a team player?! NOT A TEAM PLAYEERRRR???!!!”

This is when it hits Hajime that he said he doesn’t feel like being a team player, to the *Ultimate Team Manager.* HE SAID THAT TO THE ULTIMATE TEAM MANAGER!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!

“N-No wait I didnt mean it like that!!!”

He begins apologizing profusely as Nekomaru goes on a rant about the importance of teamwork and needing all the players. 

To make a long story short, it ends with them both sitting on Hajime’s bed, while Hajime vents about his confusions and other emotions; Nekomaru nodding every so often. 

Hajime stops almost abruptly. “A-ah.. I’m sorry.”

Nekomaru beams even brighter than when he first arrived to the cottage. 

“There is no reason to apologize, friend! I’m glad to hear that I share these emotions with someone!!” 

Hajime tilts his head slightly. Can someone as positive as Nekomaru really feel that way? He began to get lost in thought, remembering how there is always more to people than what meets the eye and whatnot. Nekomaru clears his throat, looking slightly discomforted by the silence. Hajime starts, looking up at him again. 

“Thanks Nekomaru… I needed to really get that off my chest.”

He smiles a little, this time it's more genuine. Nekomaru scratches the back of his neck, beaming once more. 

“It's no problem at all, hajime! I’m glad you can trust me enough to tell me how you really feel!!” 

He stands up, slowly, as if he was waiting for Hajime to tell him more. However, that didn’t happen. 

“I’ve decided that today is a day you can have for yourself!! But you bet your ass, I wont let you stay in here tomorrow!!”

He gives a big smile and a thumbs up to Hajime before striding to the door, and exiting, lingering just a little more before completely closing the door. 

Hajime felt a little closer to Nekomaru now. His pocket handbook pings at him, notifying of a hope fragment being gained. He sighs, feeling better than when he first woke up, and sank back into his sheets. Finally falling into a dreamless, but still good, sleep


	2. Moonlit stroll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime takes a stroll and runs into a girl

Hajime awakes slowly, his eyes search around the room, wondering what woke him up. The area is surrounded in darkness, surely he didn't sleep the whole day. He pulls out his class pocketbook and checks the time.   
He definitely slept the whole day. 

He sits up and stretches, muscles feeling stiff. 

Without thinking, he slips out of his covers and waltzes to his front door.   
It’s a good time for a walk. 

Every movement he does is slow and quiet until he gets past the gates. He slowly takes a lap around the entire island, breathing in the cool, night air, being guided only by the moonlight’s illumination. 

It felt nice, being by himself. Usually it seemed someone was always anywhere he wanted to go. But tonight it was just him, and his-

“Hajime!”

He nearly jumps out of his skin, yelping. He whipped around to face Chiaki Nanami and sighed out of relief almost immediately after seeing her. 

“Good god, Chiaki, you almost gave me a heart attack!”

She looks downcast, before giving Hajime a look of confusion. “What are you doing up so late? That’s pretty suspicious you know…”

Hajime squeaks out a protest before sighing loudly. “I slept all day so I decided to take a walk. I dont see anything suspicious about that. What’s your excuse?”

He felt almost bad for being kind of rude to such a cute girl, but he couldn’t just let go of being scared like that! Chiaki shifts uncomfortably a little, staring at the ground.

“Couldn’t sleep..”

He narrows his eyes. She’s always sleepy.  
But…  
Maybe last week's events had been plaguing her mind too…

“Chiaki….”

A light snore cuts him off. And there she was, asleep where she stood. Hajime smiled a little, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. Typical Chiaki. Slowly, he backed away, deciding that maybe it’s best just to let her rest while she can. 

Silently, he slipped back into the gates and in his cottage. Here he is truly by himself after all.   
Before he even knows it, he slips back into a dreamless sleep. 

☆⌒*. _____________________ ☆⌒*.

~Ding ding ding ding!~

Monokuma’s daily morning announcement pulled him out of his sleep, he blearily sat up, rubbing his eyes. He overslept and was now cranky and tired as a result. 

The knocking began again, startling him. What’s with him and being so jumpy lately? He glared over at his door, wanting whoever it was to go away so he could be cranky in peace for a little longer.

And then his door opened 

“HAJIME YOU BETTER BE DECENT, BECAUSE I'M COMING IN!”

This caused Hajime to scream in panic, even though he knew he was decent already. He covered his entire body in the bedsheets, hoping Nekomaru would not notice him. 

Alas, he did not. 

Fierce footsteps trudge throughout his cottage, Hajime begins to sweat profusely. He felt his hulking form stop beside his bed. The sheet begins to lift off his head, Hajime stifles a scream. Nekomaru then pulls the sheet away very quickly as to evade Hajime’s pulling it back down.

“HAHAHA!! I knew you would be here!! Now come greet the day with us!!” 

“Come on man, I just woke up!!”

“As did I!! Come on now!”

Nekomaru proceeds to lock his arm around Hajimes waist and lift him up. Hajime yelps a protest, but there was no use fighting back. He hung there limply as Nekomaru carried him to the restaurant, grateful nobody saw them, and even more grateful that he was set down in front of the entrance and not completely inside. 

Nekomaru was the first to enter, shouting his good mornings to the tired group. Hajime followed quickly behind, muttering a little. 

“Good mornin’ hajime..”

Chiaki smiles at him sleepily. He gives her a small wave. 

“You left me standing alone you know…”

His eyes widen a little, which makes her giggle. 

“Just don't do it again okay? I got cold.”

He nods a little before scooching away, uncomfortable. He liked chiaki, but he didn't LIKE her like that. Lately he’s been feeling like she’s been trying to drop hints. His stomach twisted itself into knots thinking about having to turn a girl down. 

He just hasn’t been thinking about being with anyone since he got here. After all, break ups would suck, because you would see each other every day.   
It just doesnt make sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!!  
> So sorry there isnt that much hajime/Nekomaru action in this one! After all the island has more people on it you know.


	3. You win some, you lose some

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is starting to become kind of a generic 'Main guy rejects his kind of canon girlfriend because he "only sees her as a friend" and he also is hardcore bi' kind of fic and I apologize for that.

Hajime lazily chewed at his breakfast, gazing off into the distance. He felt the table he was sitting at shift a little, and the sound of a chair scraping against the wood floor. This did not deter him from continuing to gaze at nothing. He heard an obvious clearing of someone’s throat, which he ignored.

A fist slammed down on the table. “HAJIMEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

Hajime nearly falls out of his chair in response. 

“NEKOMARU! You scared me.” He fake pouts.

Nekomaru does not feel bad, and in fact laughs at this response. It takes him a moment to catch his breath. It wasn’t THAT funny.

“Anyways, I have made a decision! And it is one I think you would like to hear!”

Hajime stares blankly at him, eyebrows slowly rising. Nekomaru clears his throat even more aggressively than before, with more discomfort behind it. His voice is much smaller than before now.

“I have decided that you are an interesting person and that I would like to be your friend.”

Hajime’s expression changes, softening. His whole body relaxes, a reassuring smile dusting his lips.

“Weren’t we friends already?”

Now it was Nekomaru’s turn to stiffen up a little, an embarrassed blush flushing across his cheeks.

“Yes! But not best friends! Or even just friends who are closer than other friends are?”

He laughs softly, Nekomaru’s blush darkens. “I know what you meant.”

“o-OH!” Nekomaru chuckles, choking down his embarassment.

Hajime’s smile widens a little. “You know. I think I would enjoy that, Nekomaru. Let’s be friends!”

Nekomaru’s hands slap the top of the table suddenly, his fiery attitude back. “HELL YEAH!!!!”  
They both share a laugh, causing Hajime to notice how expressive Nekomaru is. His pocket handbook pings softly, muffled by his pocket. (ha) 

Later in the day, Hajime is laying on the sand in only his boxers. His eyes are closed. Everything is calm.   
He had grown more comfortable wearing just his boxers on the beach as opposed to wearing the uh *cough* swimsuit that Kazuichi got him. Nobody seemed to mind his wearing them anyways, so it was no big deal. 

The sudden sound of sand shifting near his head snap him out of his dream-like state. By how soft the footsteps were, he had assumed it was a smaller person. Knowing his luck, it was probably chiaki. He wasn’t going to open his eyes to check, though.

“Good afternoon, Hajime.”

It was.

Now, don’t get Hajime wrong here, he has always enjoyed Chiaki’s presence. He enjoys her personality and appreciates all she has done for him as a friend, and when they had to investigate what happened to byakuya. But the problem here is that he’s only ever seen her as a friend.  
And maybe it was him reading a situation wrong, or something, but Hajime had always been an observant person. And he observed how Chiaki has been acting so much more… differently with him recently. She seems more concerned with being around, and talking to, and touching him.   
The chiaki he knew, wasn’t really touchy-feely. Yet for some reason, it seemed like she had to always have some sort of contact with him anymore. Whether it be just a light brush, or giving him a more-than-normally long hug.  
He felt really conflicted about it all.  
Hajime was never good at letting people down easily, let alone a girl.

“‘Afternoon, Chiaki.”

She sighs dreamily. He assumes she’s staring off into the waves. Silence settles between the two for a moment before he opens his mouth again.

“You here to swim?”

She hesitates for a second. “The girls wanted to bond, so we all decided to play here for a while. I’m just here early.”

Hajime’s stomach grumbles a little. He decides to use this as an excuse and begins to get up, finally opening his eyes.

“Well, I’m gonna get out of your guys’ hair and go get some-”

“Hajime, wait!”

Her hand grips his wrist. He finally looks at her, directly in her eyes.

“I… I have something to tell you!”

His blood runs cold. Why now…?  
Chiaki looks down, breaking eye contact. She appears to be flustered.

“Look hajime I…!”

She looks back up to see him again. His eyes bore into hers, pleading for her to stop. They stay like this for several moments, before her grip finally loosens and he slips his hand away. He turns his back to her, slowly, trying not to disturb the calm any more.

“I’m sorry, Chiaki.”

She doesn’t respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg hiiii!!  
> I meant to update yesterday but my boyfriend came over and my gayass was preoccupied with my boy.  
> Anyways take this kind of longer-than-normal chapter!  
> I'm gonna try and spit out another one before I head to sleep so stay tuned~


	4. bisexual panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nekomaru gets hit in the face and confesses that he's gay

Hajime sits in the booth furthest from the front door, angrily gnawing on some fries. He was kicking himself for letting her down like that. Maybe he could have forced himself to be with her where he could’ve then fallen in love?  
No, he couldn’t lie to her like that.  
But maybe he could have done something different?  
His mood dampens significantly with each passing moment.

He groans loudly and launches a fry at the door.  
The door opens.  
Nekomaru steps in and is immediately hit in the face with limp, greasy, potato.  
His expression was one of many emotions. A mix between a scowl and a laugh and something else. It was enough to make Hajime genuinely feel better. He laughs, loudly. It’s a contagious kind of laugh, creeping its way towards Nekomaru. Moving in through his ears and then back out his mouth. They both laugh together, filling the restaurant with the emotion. They laugh until they can’t breathe. It feels nice.

Nekomaru swipes the fry spatter off of his face, still chuckling, and makes his way towards Hajime’s booth. He slides into the seat across from him.

“If you wanted me to try the food this bad, you could have just said something, you know?”

They dissolve into more laughter. Hajime’s eyes water, and he alternates between holding his stomach, and swiping at his tears. He forgot about Chiaki for a second, relishing in the feeling. Through his blurred vision, he sees that Nekomaru isn’t laughing anymore. He’s just staring at him, studying him. Hajime squeaks, halting his laughter immediately.

“So… what brings you here anyways…?”

Nekomaru smiles warmly “Something felt wrong. So I came to look for you.”

“What…? What does that even mean…?” Hajime squints at him, confused.

“I felt it in my gut… Something was wrong!” He pauses, taking the time to steal a fry from Hajime. Quickly, he resumes his explanation.

“And I was right to have come here!! You do seem to be troubled after all!”

Hajime looks away, guiltily.

“See!!! More proof! What’s wrong, my friend?”

Hajime sighs, debating whether he should tell him or not. Maybe it would be best to spare someone else’s feelings.  
But at the same time.  
They are best friends now.  
He just has to rely on trust.

“I sort of… Rejected someone today…” A pang of guilt shot through him again.

Nekomaru tilts his head a little, actually taking the time to think before responding. “...Was it Chiaki…?

He nods.

“What happened?”

Hajime takes a shaky breath. “I just didn’t feel about her the same way she felt about me. We’re just friends. That’s all I want to be.”

Another pause. The air around this one seemed hesitant. “Do you not like girls Hajime…?”

Hajime jumps, his face turning a bright shade of red.

“N-No! Don’t get me w-wrong here! Okay? I j-just only see her as a friend! I don’t have a p-preference at all!”

His face gets darker. He did not mean to say that last part. Nekomaru doesn’t seem to mind, however, he’s more focused on helping Hajime feel better, after all.

“That’s okay too.. You know. You are allowed to be close with people and just be friends. I mean, look at me and Akane! So don’t feel bad, alright? Chiaki is going to feel bad for a little bit, so the best thing to do is to give her space, okay? It will take time, but she will come to understand your feelings. You did nothing wrong, Hajime.”

Hajime’s eyes brighten up a little, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Wait. You and Akane aren’t Together???”

“What? No. I don’t like girls that way. And besides, I see her as more of a sister, anyways.”

“Oh..” He actually smiles this time. “Nice.”

Something about talking to Nekomaru about his feelings and telling him personal stuff (even if it’s by accident) made Hajime feel like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He felt like he could just be… himself.

He decided he had made a good decision this morning, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woohoooooooo two chapters in one sitting lets goooooooo


	5. Foiled and forgiven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime’s plans are foiled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay firstly   
> Hey!!  
> Hows it goin?  
> Im doing okay if you must know.   
> Second.  
> I apologize for the extended hiatus.   
> I totally meant to take a break for a little bit but it wasn’t supposed to get this long.   
> However with quarantine happening I finally remembered this fic and am finally continuing it once more!  
> Remember to stay safe and wash your hands! Ily!

Snores rumbled throughout the cabin   
They didnt shake anything, as most cartoons exaggerate, but they were rather loud. It startled Hajime a little as he slipped into the room, hoping to wake up Nekomaru and finally turn the tables on him. It was a mix of petty revenge and of proof that he could leave his room in a timely fashion. 

Then, as he crept closer towards the bed, the snoring ceased. He stood still, staring wide-eyed at Nekomaru’s sleeping(?) form. 

He hardly had enough time to process the hand shooting out from under the covers before it had his wrist in it’s grip. He shouts out a little, tugging frantically at it.   
“ShitshitshitSHIT!!”

The hand, however, is too strong for him. He sags a little in defeat and is immediately greeted by joyful laughter. Nekomaru sits up from his bed, releasing his grip. 

“Good morning to you, Hajime! If you’re going to kill me, you’ll have to be quicker than that!”

The laughter resumes, a little more joyous than before. Hajime revels in his defeat.   
“Like I would kill you! What purpose would that serve anyways?”

Nekomaru snorts at him. “If not you, then my heart will.”

“Oh.”   
He doesn’t know how to respond to that. He knows it’s hard for Nekomaru, doing things that he loves but still constantly having that constant nag of his bad heart in the back of his mind. He could never be as positive and strong as Nekomaru if he were in that situation, and it almost made him jealous, but also very grateful. 

Nekomaru grins widely at him.   
“Chin up, Hajime!! If I’m still alive then there’s nothing to worry about, right?”

He nods in response. Nidai takes the silence to finally rise up completely from the depths of his bedsheets. He towers over hajime, shirtless and only wearing boxers. 

He can’t really help but stare. Nekomaru was really in shape. He didn’t have ‘rock hard abs’ or ‘hug pecs’ or anything but he still was a sight to behold. Kinda like a dad bod but a dad who works out a lot bod. He tentatively breaks eye contact with his body to look back up at his face. Which has a confused expression on it. 

Hajime responds out of instinct and covers his eyes. “I didn’t realize you didn’t hardly wear anything to bed!! I’m so sorry!”

He’s laughed at in response. “Hajime you’ve surely gone to public bathhouses! I should not be an abnormal sight to you!”

“This is a little different!!!”

He feels Nekomaru’s form move. Unsure where he went, hajime peeks through his fingers to see Nekomaru’s face inches from his own. His face goes red and he nearly screams from sheer embarrassment, closing his eyes once more

“I’m not scaring you am I?”

He shakes his head feverishly

“Then what is it?”

He shrugs hard, he wasn’t really sure why seeing him like this made him embarrassed. Maybe he was just too modest for his own good. “I-I’m gonna go outside and wait for you to get dressed, okay?”

“You’re gonna walk with your eyes closed?”

He thinks for a moment, and then decidedly nods. He feels around with his feet, managing to turn himself around. A foreign object then manages to find its way underfoot and knock him off his feet. He curls up into the fetal position, cursing himself. 

“Do you need help?”

His face darkens again as he remembered that he was very much, not alone. “I… yeah.”   
He no longer tries to fight it, he lowers his hands, but never fully opens his eyes. Footsteps make their way to him, then hands make their way underneath his arms, lifting him up. He feels his body being tilted?? What?

He opens his eyes ever-so-slightly to see that he is indeed being carried bridal style, by a still almost naked, Nekomaru. He stiffens and covers up his eyes again. He feels a rumble of a chuckle emerge from the man’s chest. 

It wasn’t hardly a long walk, as it only took a few steps to get to the door. Hajime thanks his lucky stars as he slips out. He sighs a big sigh of relief once he’s completely outside. It doesn’t take him hardly any time before he starts to daydream. Not about anything in particular, just thoughts about what to do if he got off this island, thoughts about reconciliation with Chiaki, thinking about maybe visiting Komaeda again. 

His eyes darken a little when thinking about komaeda. After Byakuya was murdered and TeruTeru was taken away, Komaeda just went insane. He kept talking about hope, and saying things about wanting people to kill him for it. Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko tied him up in the room Byakuya died in, and he’s been there ever since. 

His thoughts are immediately interrupted by a jab in the side and a loud “Hey are you still awake?!” From, of course, Nekomaru. He jolts up, realizing he must have sit down at some point.   
“Im up, I’m up!”

“Good! Now lets go, before I become the one who has to wait!”

They both stroll to the [name of that fuckin food place here] and are immediately greeted by Ibuki and her screaming.   
“SEE! I TOLD YOU!”

She’s pointing at them but talking to Hiyoko, who looks like she does not want to be there. She folds her arms, glaring at the loud girl.   
“And? So what?”

“Clearly Theres something going on between them! Perhaps a change in the tide has made them bestest friends! Or maybe… lovers…?”

Hajime’s face brightens and Nekomaru’s eyes widen. They both actively take a step away from each other. 

“J-Just friends! Just friends!” Hajime sputtered. 

Ibuki grins, proud of herself for guessing right the first time. Hiyoko raises an eyebrow at them. “Friends dont get embarrassed like that when confronted. There is something going on! How disgusting!”

Ibuki gasps profoundly. “Hiyoko you can’t say that!! Just because they’re both boys doesn’t mean they can’t-“

“Shut your trap, I dont care if they’re boys! It’s that they’re willing to just settle on each other,” she scoffs at them. “Have some higher standards for once.”

Nekomaru laughs loudly, nervously, and pats Hiyoko’s head. She shrieks at him. “Hiyoko when did you get so funny? We’re just close!! Nothing more!”

She grumbles, seemingly satisfied with his response. Ibuki wanders off to go speak to Peko. From their glances to both him and his friend, Hajime assumes it's about the same conversation. He sighs loudly and grabs at some food, before taking it outside. 

He gnaws at some toast lazily as he stares down at the grass he’s sitting on. He found it strange that there were no bugs to come and greet him, but decided it wasnt worth thinking about. The ground behind him made that shifty noise as somebody came up behind him. 

He half expected it to be Nekomaru, and he sure wasn’t expecting Chiaki. She gave him a half smile and sat down beside him.   
“G’mornin.”

He nods. “Hey.”

They sit in a comfortable silence for a while, Hajime having finished his food at this point. A soft breeze washes over them. Chiaki sighs a little. He looks at her, concerned.

“Are you mad at me, Chiaki.”

She shakes her head. “Not at all. I’m a little sad, but. I’m happy being just like this.”

He nods a little. “Promise you’re not lying?”

“I promise.”

His pocketbook pings.


	6. Too much in one day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New things hardly occur anymore. The author remembers that there are more characters on the island.

Hajime floats along lazily in the ocean.  
He had decided that he was going to take a celebratory swim after speaking with Chiaki. Also it was a peculiarly hot day today and the best way to cool off was in the ocean.

As soon as he hit the water, a wave of fatigue washed over him and he decided to just float on his back for the time being.

He sighed dreamily, thinking about the morning, stewing over his emotions. Loud yelling from the beach startled him from his thoughts and he sank into the water.

He arose, sputtering to see what, or who, had disturbed him. Blurs of what appears to be Akane and Nekomaru are moving on the beach. They seem to be in some intense battle.

Hajime lazily swims towards shore, not realizing how far away he had managed to float, and laid on the sand. He was still half in the water, on his stomach, when he concluded to prop himself up on his shoulders and watch them duke it out.

Nekomaru of course won, pinning Akane to the sand as he laughed jovially. Hajime thinks ‘I wouldn’t mind being pinned like that.’ Before turning a stark red and burying his face and the wet sand beneath him. What the fuck was his problem?

He screams internally, cursing himself even more. He was never like this! Why is he thinking about his friend that way! Maybe its teenage frustration? No. He’s an adult at this point. His hormones should be all worked out by now! Maybe it’s delusion? Like he’s been here for so long that he thinks he’s into Nekomaru. HE IS NOT IN TO NEKOMARU!!  
But then the thought of this morning in the cabin reared its ugly head. Why was he so embarrassed?

He sighs, defeated. Maybe Hiyoko was right. Maybe he’s just settling. He lifts his head up from the sand to see two people peering down at him. He screams and pushes himself back and into the water. Akane frowns at him.

“Awww Hajime! You didn’t even invite us to swim with you! I totally would have put off a duel for a good swim.”

Nekomaru nods in agreement. “Nothing like a good swim with my best friends!”

This is when they both proceed to start stripping. Nekomaru was already wearing swim trunks, as he wanted to be prepared when coming to the beach, and Akane just had on a bra and panties. Neither of them seemed to mind, but Hajime could have died right then and there.

He laid back and just floated away. Leaving the both of them to yell at him to wait up.

.

As the sun started to set, they all decided to go back to shore and snag something to eat at the diner. Coincidentally they chose to sit in the same booth hajime was in when he threw a french fry at Nekomaru. Even more coincidentally they all decided they wanted fries with their food.

They hadn’t even gotten their first bites in, when Fuyuhiko bursts through the door, Peko in tow.

“Where the hell have you been?!”

Hajime is the first to speak up. “What’s up?”

He’s glared at in response. “Mikan said she found a new medication at the pharmacy, and wanted us all there to see it.”

Akane groans loudly. “Can it waaaait? I’m friggin starving!”

Nekomaru chimed in as well. “How urgent is it?”

Fuyuhiko scoffs at them. “Get the fuck up. Just bring your food with or something. “

This seems to please Akane and she promptly gets up, grabbing at her food. Hajime and Nekomaru follow suit.  
They all take no time in hurrying to the pharmacy, where everyone else, excluding Nagito, has already gathered. They’re greeted with grumbles of ‘what took you so long?’ and things along those same lines.  
All is silenced when Mikan tentatively clears her throat. They all gather around her, curious to see what she’s discovered. She reaches into her apron pocket, shaking a little.

“Well I found this uhh.. i think it’s a truth serum?”

She holds it out for anyone to look, So hajime grabs it softly, peering closely at it.

“It says it makes you your true self for one whole hour… guaranteed…? One hundred percent-“ He groans. “One hundred percent Usami approved.”

They all audibly groan at this, knowing it’s probably another one of Usami’s ‘hope games’ to try and bring them all closer together.

“So does it.. make us tell each other out deep secrets or something? A woman deserves to have her secrets to herself, you know! How rude!” Mahiru gripes.

This is when Usami makes her appearance, popping in out of nowhere. “No, silly! It makes you act like who you really are on the inside! Like. Maybe you say one thing but you think something else! This makes you say the thought instead! If you overcome each other’s real thoughts, nothing will ever get in the way of your friendship!”

She’s practically sparkling from how proud she is. Everyone else seems to be rather uncomfortable with it. Hajime’s heart is practically beating out of it’s chest. He could only imagine if what he thought at the beach was said out loud.

“Do we have a choice?”

Usami looks at Was him sadly. “Of course you do… but where would the fun be in that?”

“I like my personal thoughts when they stay personal.”

Everyone nods in agreement. Usami wilts a little.

“Oh… well maybe one day you’ll change your mind.” She sadly bounds away.

They all decided to depart and go their separate ways. Mikan stares at Hajime expectantly. He stares back, confused.

“May I…. keep it…?”

She studies him for a moment before giggling. “Of course!” She skips away, gleeful that someone spoke to her like a person.

He shudders a little. He begins to make his way out but is stopped by a large hand on his shoulder.

“What do you plan on doing with that?”

Hajime tilts his head back to stare up at Nekomaru. “I dont know. I just.. think it will be safe with me.”

Nekomaru is quiet for a moment, then looks at him thoughtfully. “Maybe we should try it? Just to see if it actually works.”

Hajime startles a little. Nekomaru was the last person he wanted to do that with. Especially right now at least.

But maybe he should…? Nekomaru hasn’t ever judged him before and he’s sure he wouldn’t think much differently of him then.

He sighs. “Yeah.. maybe..? Let’s let things settle for a couple days first.”

Nekomaru nods at him. “Alright, it’s a date then.”

Hajime hides a blush.


	7. Noodle contest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime suffers a bisexual crisis

Hajime flops down onto his cabin bed, very exhausted. Too exhausted to even change his clothes. He curls up nicely underneath the covers and then cant fall asleep.   
No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t do it. He felt like he was being watched. He shuddered a little and sat up, reaching blindly for a lamp near his bedside. 

“Hello…?”

He flipped it on to reveal Usami taping a piece of paper to his door. They both went still, staring at each other.   
“Get out.”

She looks at him sadly. “You don’t even want to know why I’m here..?”

“I dont care. Hurry up and tell me so I can get some sleep.”

She perks up a little. “I set up a noodle eating contest to replace the true-self serum!”

“That’s… not a bad Idea but it’s not necessarily a smart one.” He flops back over on his bed, flipping off the lamp on his way down. “Now get out.”

He heard her sniffle before exiting throughr his front door. He should really fix that lock.  
After that he slept, but kept waking up with the eerie feeling of being watched.

.

His morning was strangely quiet. Nobody had come to yank him out of bed and he hadnt attempted to yank anyone out of their’s. It was both nice, and a lonely feeling at the same time. He almost wished there was someone there to yell at him. 

That wish was soon granted as soon as he opened his front door. He nearly ran into Nekomaru’s chest, not looking where he was going.

“And good morning to you, Hajime!”

He nods in response. He already feels warmer. 

“Did you see the flyer from Usami? A competition!! We’ll have to be partners, okay?” 

Nekomaru is way too fired up about a competition where you eat a bunch of crappy noodles. Akane would probably win anyways. 

“Yeah.. I’ll be your partner.”

.

The competition wasn’t anything special. There was one plate between two people. The pairs were picked at random so instead his partner was sonia. Nekomaru was paired with akane. Gundam and Kazuichi, Mahiru and hiyoko, Chiaki and mikan, etc. Usami and her lackey, Monokuma were to be the judges. 

The rules were simple:  
•Only one noodle at a time  
•no biting the noodle until it’s completely in your mouth  
•no silver/plastic ware

Sonia was especially in a competitive mood. Not only that but she was really good with her mouth (👀) so, naturally Hajime lost. He was the first to be sent to the losers table. 

Instead of the winners going against each other, it was the losers who would have to ‘battle.’ Something to do with ‘the winners already proved themselves.’

This meant he would be partnered up with Nekomaru this time. (Of course he lost, he was up against Akane in an *eating* contest)

Sonia and Akane decided they would stay and watch their previous partners duke it out. Usami announced the beginning of their contest and Hajime suddenly got a surge of energy. 

He managed to fight to stay afloat, but in the end, they were tied. And they were down to the last noodle. Hajime just barely manages to snatch it up and put the end in is mouth. He narrows his eyes and smiles at him triumphantly before continuing pulling the noodle into his mouth. 

Then Nekomaru does the unexpected. He puts the other end of the noodle into his mouth. They stare each other down before both start slurping intensely. They both meet in the middle, faces touching but neither back down. Nekomaru huffs a chuckle out his nose before winking at Hajime. Hajime raises and eyebrow and is met with Nekomaru sticking his tongue out. Against his lips. 

His face turns a bright red and he bites through the noodle. Sonia and Akane cheer loudly as Nekomaru laughs triumphantly. Hajime stands abruptly.   
“I gotta go..!”

.

He had made a mad dash, hoping to go somewhere, anywhere at all.   
And that’s when he ended up at the beach. The contests had gone on long enough for the midday sun to be burning overhead. Hajime stumbled to a stop, before collapsing against the sand. 

He just laid there, face down in some really hot sand. He felt his cheeks blister against it. But honestly, this felt better than confronting his feelings. 

What even were his feelings?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up now!!  
> I know it’s tagged slow burn but I simply CANNOT make it too slow!!  
> I, as the author, will die.


	8. Well deserved rest.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime sleeps a twice and gets sunburnt in the process

What even were his feelings?

He finally rolls over, exposing his face to the sun. The first thing he thinks of is how bright it is, so he closes his eyes. It’s not nearly as bright as Nekomaru and yet he cant keep his eyes away from him. He chuckles to himself a little.   
Maybe he did have feelings for him. Maybe just a little bit.   
The exhaustion from last night's spotty sleep and his long run washes over and before he realizes, he’s fast asleep, still exposed to the sun. 

.

His nap is disturbed when he feels his body shifting. He blinks awake blearily to see his friend carrying him, bridal style. He groans softly, confused. His face hurts. His ARMS hurt. He lifts his arm to observe it. It’s very red. A sunburnt red. That’s going to hurt even worse by tomorrow. Nekomaru glances down at him and smiles. 

“Sorry I didn’t find you sooner. You’re really sunburnt all over.”

Hajime chuckles softly. “Not your fault.. I’m just dumb.”

“Don’t say that about yourself!”

He mumbles a response and nuzzles closer to Nekomaru’s chest, falling back asleep.

.

The next time he wakes up he’s in his cabin. He still feels like shit. He groans a little, shifting to get into a more comfortable position. He finds his bed to be an odd shape after doing this. And also his bed is snoring. Why is his bed snoring?   
He turns to look at his surroundings and finds that he is laying on Nekomaru’s chest and that Nekomaru is half on, half off the bed. 

Hajime jumps up, startling the other boy awake.   
“Wh-what are you-? What happened?”

Nekomaru blinks sleepily a couple times before sitting up. “You kept complaining every time i went to put you down, so I sat here and just let you sleep. Guess I fell asleep too.”

He shrugs and stands up, striding to the door. “Guess I’m free to go, for now! It’s probably midnight anyways so you should get some more sleep. I will do the same.”

Hajime almost wanted to call for him to come back, as he was already colder, but then remembered that that’s really embarrassing. He nodded, looking down at his hands, interlocking them.   
“Will do.” 

“Oh and Hajime?”

He looks up, their eyes meeting. “Yes?”

“Why don’t we try that true-self stuff tomorrow morning.”

He nods. It’s time to let this out. “Okay.”

“Sleep well, Hajime.”

He doesn’t have time to respond before the door closes. He sighs a little, settling back into his bed and returning to a dreamless sleep. 

.

When he wakes up for the third time he actually feels energized. Albeit his arms and face are screaming at him to stop moving. He decides first thing this morning is to skip breakfast and head straight to the pharmacy for some aloe lotion. 

He doesn’t run into anybody before getting there, as he assumed they’re all in the usual morning meetup place. But upon arrival to the pharmacy, he sees that everyone else is there instead. They all seem to be arguing about something. 

“Uhh?”

They all stop and stare. Mikan and Hiyoko appear to be in the middle of it. Ibuki steps forward.   
“Hajimee!! What’s up?!”

“What’s going on?”

Hiyoko scoffs “Well obviously we’re here to get stuff for you. Too bad you don’t have enough brain cells to deduct that.”

He grimaces. How unnecessarily harsh of her. “Sorry..?”

Mikan giggles. “You looked like you were sunburned and we wanted to help treat it!”

“I can do that myself you know..?” He’s a bit taken aback. Why does everyone care about a measly sunburn?

Fuyuhiko growls at him. “You keep moping around. We’re trying to keep you from being so fuckin sad.”

“Oh..”  
He stares down at his hands, his red, aching hands, and begins to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!!  
> We’re so close 100 hits which is kinda scary!!   
> This was definitely just a self indulgent fic I’m writing but like woah!! Other people are reading it!!  
> Anyways something exciting is that I have successfully gotten up to chapter 11 today and will be posting all of those momentarily.   
> I would like to reiterate that while it says slow burn in the tags, I simply cannot make myself wait much longer lol!!  
> Thank you so very much for the love!! *smooches from six feet away*


	9. A good cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime is treated like a friend and cries about it.

They all collectively gasp in shock. They’ve never seen him cry before, so they all just kind of. Stand there.   
He doesn’t even know what to do. He just stands there, staring at his hands, crying for some reason. Before he can even move, big arms wrap themselves around him, pulling him close to their chest. He doesn’t even look to know who it is. Then another pair of arms. Then another and another until they’re all just surrounding him in a big hug circle. Even Hiyoko, I guess she does have a heart (lol)

He doesn’t cry any harder, already embarrassed because of it, but he does begin to soften and slow down. Soft cries becoming soft hiccups. He finally calms down enough to wrap his arms around Nekomaru’s waist, pulling him closer. 

They all stay like that for a while, then slowly pull apart one by one, until it’s just him and Nekomaru. They linger there like that for a while longer, before hajime pulls away. 

“Sorry,” He sniffles. “I just didn’t expect you guys to do that I guess.” 

“Dont be sorry.” Chiaki chirps.

Ibuki brightens up. “Yeah Hajime! You don’t gotta apologize for bein sad!”

His face flushes, and he wipes snot off his face with the end of his shirt. Hiyoko gags. Mikan steps forward tentatively, holding out a pink bottle of aloe lotion. 

“F-For you.”

He takes it and smiles at her. “Thank you so much.”

She giggles happily and moves back to the rest of the group. They all give him sympathetic smiles. 

“Thank you, everyone.”

They all say their ‘your welcome’s in their own quirky way and he turns away to walk out. They all disperse, assumably going to go about their day, or going to get breakfast if they haven’t already. He was going to get breakfast anyway, and thats what he assumed when he heard footsteps crunch on the ground behind him. 

“Wait up, Hajime!!”

He jumps a little, stopping to let Nekomaru catch up to him.   
“You scared me!”

“Me?! *You* scared me!!”

“What? That was just a manly display of emotion was all!”

They begin walking towards the hotel. “Manly, huh? Yeah. It was manly alright. But it was also concerning. Are you okay?”

Hajime waves his hand at him. “Psh, of course I am.”

“We’re doing that true-self thing today. For sure.”

Hajime sighs, annoyed. He makes his way up to the (cafeteria?) and snags at an apple. 

“Not right now, I’m hungry.”

“The sooner the better! However breakfast is, in fact, a very important meal!”

He rolls his eyes playfully and takes a bite of his apple. It’s very tart. He decides to skip breakfast. 

“Nope, not worth it.” He sighs, realizing what his day is going to be like now. “Let’s get this over with.”

.

They’re both seated on the floor of Hajime’s cabin, staring expectantly at the bottle that site in the middle of them. They look up at the same time and meet eyes. Nekomaru speaks in a small voice. 

“So who’s going first?”

Hajime laughs nervously. “You know what? I forgot to put on that lotion.”

“You can do it in a second. I’ll go first.”  
Nekomaru picks up the bottle and reads the label.   
“A capful is all you need. It takes five to ten minutes to ‘activate’? What? This is bullshit, already!”

Hajime shrugs at him, and watches as he doubtedly fills the cap with the strange, lavender smelling, murky blue liquid. 

“Down the hatch I guess.” He swigs it like it’s a shot, and almost immediately recoils.

“Oh my god! It tastes like shit!!” He gags a little, but keeps it down. Hajime laughs nervously. 

“How encouraging.”

Nekomaru thrusts the bottle at him, a foul look on his face. “Your turn.”

Hajime pours it slowly, glaring solemnly at it.   
“Well, it’ll only last for a moment.”  
He downs it quickly. 

He didnt know what he was expecting, but whatever it was, sure wasn’t it. It was like if you took all of the grape cough syrups in the world and mixed it with after-brthday party vomit and mixed it all together. It sends Hajime into a coughing fit, he doubles over, not really sure if he’s going to vomit or cry again.   
He does neither and eventually recomposes himself. Nekomaru laughs at him. 

“See!”

“Ugh, I didn’t even doubt you and it still ended up being worse.”

Nekomaru laughs at him again. It’s so full of joy. 

“How can you even laugh at that? It was so bad and yet you’re still happy about it!” The words came out of his mouth before he even realized. 

He covered his mouth and his face flushes. “I think it works.”

Nekomaru stares at him, eyes wide. “I’m happy because it’s a shared experience and it was funny!”

Hajime nods, refusing to even think of a response. Nekomaru sighs a little, giving him a stern look. 

“Hajime. Can you please tell me what’s going on?”

Hajime’s face darkens a little, hands covering his mouth tighter than before.

“Come on. It’s not good to bottle it up.” He moves closer to Hajime, way too close; inside his personal space close. 

Have you ever heard stories of those people who spontaneously combust? They practically disintegrate in an instant, becoming hotter than the sun for only a second, leaving nothing behind but scorch marks. Hajime wished that was him right then and there, hoping that, if there were a God, that he would grant him some sort of mercy and set him ablaze for a moment. Instead he sat there, pulling his knees to his chest and keeping a tight grip to his lips, steadily getting redder and redder. 

“I-I! You’re too close!” He manages to squeak out. 

Nekomaru nods a little. “My body’s moving on it’s own accord! This is an affect of the serum!”

Hajime takes a big breath in through his nose, pulls his hands away slowly, and lets it out through his mouth. He re-adjusts himself, sitting on his knees, and moving back ever-so-slightly from Nekomaru. His face never lightens up. 

“I don’t even know where to start.”

“If you start thinking it, you’ll say it. You had to have read that part on the bottle, Hajime.”

He frowns a little. “Rude”

“Sorry.”

He sighs again. “I guess its.. Man I still feel bad about the Chiaki thing, even though we made up and we’re still friends. I might just be overthinking that one. And maybe I miss my family a little? I miss being thought of a lot and being surrounded by people who care about and that’s why I cried earlier?” His voice begins to waver a little. “And not to mention you and I have gotten really close, especially after Byakuya died, and damn. That whole situation was really fucked up you know? Like I get why it happened, but it’s still messed up! And after you and I started getting close I think I like you now? Which is kind of scary, because what if you don’t even see me that way and-“ 

He cuts himself off, hands covering his mouth again as his eyes water. How embarrassing! It just slipped out of him, without him meaning to! That nasty serum sure works wonders. 

His floor creaks and he’s greeted by Nekomaru pulling him into a floor version of a second hug of today. Hajime’s body reacts by hugging him even tighter. 

“Are you gonna cry?”

Hajime responds by starting to cry. He feels defeated. Embarrassed. His brain hurts from thinking about this so much. Nekomaru instinctively runs a hand through Hajime’s hair, murmuring comforting things. This makes him cry much harder, and his heart beat much faster. His grip on Nekomaru tightens even more. 

He’s not even meaning to cry. It just happened. He’s not really even sure why he’s crying after a while, which is what gets him to slowly stop. Eventually its just him sniffling and sitting there in Nekomaru’s arms. 

“Hey, Nekomaru..?”

“Yeah?” His voice is soft. 

“I really need to blow my nose right now.”

They both share a laugh. It felt good to laugh. Nekomaru loosens his grip, but never fully lets go. Hajime wriggles away and walks into the bathroom, before pulling a bunch of toilet paper away and blowing his nose. 

After feeling refreshed, and also after washing his hands, he stalks back into the room. Nekomaru is still sitting in the same position. Hajime laughs awkwardly. 

“I really want to go back into that hug right now but I sort of ruined the mood.”

Nekomaru stretches his arms out. “Nonsense.”

Hajime takes that as a good enough answer and settles back down between Nekomaru’s legs, leaning his head against his shoulder, wrapping their arms around each other. 

“Hajime?”

“Yeah?” He lifts his head up so they can see eye-to-eye. Their faces are mere inches from each other. 

“That last part..?” 

Hajime’s face brightens. “Oh ha.. yeah, that. What about it.”

“Me too.”


	10. True self

Hajime shakes his head, absolutely bewildered. “You WHAT?”

“Me too! I like you too! I just figured that you weren’t looking for anyone that way after you rejected Chiaki, so I never did anything about it! 

Both of their faces are red at this point. Neither of them want to move, but they also don’t want to be there.

“Oh.”

“That’s all? Just ‘oh’?”

“I-I don’t know what else to say! I didn’t think I would even get this far!”

“Me neither.”

“Oh.”

Nekomaru sighs, exasperated. He closes his eyes for a moment to collect his thoughts. 

“Let me just-“

He moves a hand up to Hajime’s cheek and leans in close, tilting his head slightly. His eyes half open, staring directly at him, and his lips parted slightly. Hajime can feel his breath on his face, which makes him turn an impossible shade of red. 

“A-Are you about to-?”

“No. You have to meet me in the middle for that.”

They stay like that for several awkward seconds, Nekomaru stroking his cheek with slight impatience. Hajime manages to resolve himself and slowly moves his own hand, opposite of Nekomaru’s own, against his friend’s(?) cheek too. 

He feels at Nekomaru’s strong cheekbones beneath his thumb, and is completely awestruck by it. He can see everything about him up close. He really did find him amazing. 

His word comes out in a hush. “Fuck.”

Nekomaru raises an eyebrow at him.

Hajime blushes again. “S-Sorry. You’re just- I just- Gah!!! I want to kiss you until I can’t breathe I guess?!”

“You guess????”

He panics, and instead of giving a proper response, he finally closes the gap between them. It’s soft and slow. Nekomaru tastes like Strawberry. Hajime, like bitter apple from this morning. 

Nekomaru keeps trying to separate, attempting to get a word in, but Hajime keeps kissing him. He has both hands on his face now, one slowly snaking into his hair. Nekomaru finally gives in, letting them both have this. 

They smooch for what seems like forever (it was only like ten minutes) before Hajime finally relents. Both of them are breathless. They pant softly, foreheads resting against each other. 

“Hajime. I don’t think you guessed at all.”

Hajime laughs a little. “Not even a little bit.”

“You forgot about your lotion again. 

“I’ve been ignoring that.”

“I noticed that. Can you hand it to me? I’m sure your arms are dying.”

Hajime places another drawn out kiss on Nekomaru’s lips and slowly stands up to grab it off the nightstand. He then sits on his bef, instead of handing it over. 

“Let’s do the lotion on my bed. It’s comfier here.”

Nekomaru nods in agreement and rises as well, moving to plop down on the edge of the bed next to Hajime. He gently pulls the lotion from hajime’s hands and pops the cap open and lathers it on both his hands. 

“When do you think this stuff will wear off?” He rubs a hand along Hajime’s left arm, massaging it in along the way. 

Hajime sucks a breath in through his teeth. “Im pretty sure the bottle said 12 to 24 hours? Which is kind of scary.”

Nekomaru moves to his right arm. “That is scary. I dont want to see you crying again.”

Hajime moans, in pain, softly. “I won't cry again. I just won't have the balls to make a move on you again once it wears off. To be honest I’m embarrassed with myself.”

He moves to his face, rubbing it on his cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re embarrassed? I’m embarrassed.”

Hajime leans into his touch now. “We’re both embarrassed. But we’re stuck like this so let’s just enjoy it I guess.”

He moves his hands along his forehead and nose. “You seemed to be enjoying it already.”

“Yeah, and?”

Lastly, along his neck. “Nothing. I was too.”

Hajime sighs, content, and flops back against his bed. He rests his head against the pillows. “That lotion makes my skin cold.”

Nekomaru, not of his own accord, moves so that he’s overtop the smaller boy, his elbows resting on the same pillow. “It’s supposed to do that.”

Hajime flushes. “You seem to be in a very compromisable position there.”

Nekomaru’s face contorts into an expression thats a mix between horrified and embarrassed. “I did not do this on purpose.”

He laughs a little. “It could be much worse. I mean, my legs could be hugging your-“

His position changes slightly. He wriggled his legs out from underneath Nekomaru and moved them to have his knees hug against his waist. They both just stare at each other, unsure what to do. 

“I should really stop thinking of things that I want to do.”

Nekomaru nods solemnly, staring at his lips the entire time. He is, of course, caught staring and is punished by Hajime tangling his fingers in his hair and pulling him closer, nuzzling the side of his nose.

“Hajime this is inappropriate.”

“I just want to do the ‘kissing ‘til we cant breathe again’ thing. What you do with that is on you.”

Nekomaru wants to die immediately. He deals with that by allowing Hajime the mini-makeout. 

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*  
☆ And now for a brief intermission ☆  
(Hey! Author here! It’s not gonna get too NSFW here, but it’s. They do be having a makeout while not completely under control of themselves. So yeah it’s gonna get weird and uhhhh this is probably just nsfw actually. No super crazy stuff right now tho. Careful, kids!!)  
*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Nekomaru absentmindedly grinds down on the smaller boy, drawing a moan out from him. They both startle, separating their lips to stare at each other in bewilderment. 

“Did I? Did you???” Hajime stutters. 

Nekomaru nods. “I didn’t mean to???”

“Do it again.”

“What?”

“I didn’t mean to say that but I can’t really control my thoughts. Or any words that I’m saying.”

“Do you….. want me to….?”

“We both want and deserve this. At least I think you want this,” He pauses to read Nekomaru’s face. “Do you want this…?”

He leans closer to him again, nuzzling the side of his nose. “More than anything. I just dont want you to get scared or something.”

“What? No. I’m not scared. Why would I be scared?”

He shrugs a little. “I don't know. And you know that’s truthful. “

“I know,” Hajime pecks his lips “Hey it’s kinda stuffy right now. Can you take off your jacket?”

“You..? You’re not kidding it is really warm.” He sits up and quickly shrugs it off, leaving nothing but a white tank top, before re-assuming his position. “Better?”

Hajime runs a hand along his arms before re-tangling his fingers in his hair. “Yeah. It was like a thick blanket.”

“Do you still want me to..?”

“Absolutely.”

Nekomaru kisses him hard, he runs his hands down Hajime’s sides and places them on his hips. He squeezes them, also hard. Hajime’s sure he’s going to have bruises there. He grunts softly against his partners lips. Nekomaru massages at his hips for a moment and then separates from Hajime. 

Hajime blinks blearily at him. “Why’d you stop? You didn’t even do the thing aga- oh.”

Nekomaru has moved to kiss at his neck, sending electric shivers all over Hajime’s body. He pulls his hips up to meet his own as he finally grinds down on him again. Hajime’s face gets red. 

“F-fuck, Neko-“ He moans softly, burying his face into his hair.

Nekomaru giggles. “Neko?”

“No- Sorry I-“

“Im just playing.”

“I kno-woah!”

Nekomaru groans against his neck, kissing at it again, returning to grinding against him. Hajime goes back to moaning into Neko’s hair. His hands move downward, balling the back of his partner’s shirt into his fist.

They grind for nearly an hour, Nekomaru occasionally alternating between kissing Hajime’s lips and kissing at his neck. They both knew they probably shouldn’t be doing this, that it’s a little too steamy and a little too risqué for having just confessed to each other. But once they started they just couldn’t stop. 

Nekomaru was the first to pull back, his hips pressed firmly against the smaller boy’s own. They both stare at each other, panting hard. They were both half-mast at this point. Normally Hajime would be freaking out, but something in that serum made the fact that he was enjoying this a little too much, very apparent. 

“Neko.. I think we should calm down a little.”

His partner chuckles, breathlessly, against his cheek. “Good idea. If we keep like this you’ll have a much bigger problem on your hands.”

Hajime blushes hard. “How big?”

Nekomaru yelps. “You don’t just ask people that!”

“R-Right, I didn’t mean to.”

“Hmph. I bet your face hurts.”

“I feel like im on fire right now actually. Physical contact really sets it off.”

“O-oh,” He flops on the bed next to him. “Sorry.”

“Noooo. We’re both at fault here. That means it’s my fault too.” He laced their fingers together, kissing his knuckles.

They lay there in silence for a bit, staring lovingly at each other. Nekomaru rests his hand against his partner's cheek, brushing his thumb along his cheekbone. 

“Hey, Hajime? Let’s put another coat of that lotion on, okay?”

He nods, both of them sitting up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh hi  
> Okay lemme explain myself   
> In my last relationship, we pretty much let it all out pretty fast lol.   
> That little Nsfw spot is just a little bit of me putting what passion we had for each other, on to a couple of dummy gays.   
> (Also my prev relationship ended well lol it just didn’t work out ☆)


	11. Good morning!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up with memories of being a confident person??  
> Scary business

The rest of their day had gone significantly less exciting. Hajime stayed confined to his cabin for a little bit, when Nekomaru left to go get him food. (They decided that he should just stay there so he wouldn’t accidentally say or do something that would upset someone.) 

Their night ended fairly well, cuddling on Hajime’s bed. Hajime’s face buried in Nekomaru’s, now bare, chest. They both silently agreed to just sleep there. Hajime put on a pair of shorts to sleep in and Nekomaru just removed his tank, deciding that sleeping as he normally does might make the mood less soft. 

They half expected someone to burst in, maybe just to check in on Hajime or something. Things get boring pretty quickly nowadays. Recently Usami has tried to come up with things to help them all collect the rest of their hope fragments, but they always fall through. So it was a bit of a surprise that no one came in. 

Hajime shifted upwards just slightly. His voice a sleepy murmur. “Neko…?”

Nekomaru tilted his head downward to look at him, equally sleepy. “Hrm..?”

“Gimme kiss.” He pursed his lips dramatically. 

Nekomaru laughs through his nose, kissing him softly. “Hey.. Hajime, I…”

“Hnmg?”

“...Sleep well.” He blushes slightly. 

Hajime smiles a little, settling his head back against his partner’s chest. Nekomaru rests his chin on top of Hajime’s head. They wrap their arms a little tighter around each other, and fall asleep. 

.

The first thing Hajime feels when he wakes up is soft rumbling against his face. His groans in confusion, pulling away slightly. The rumbling stops, and the other body also moves slightly away. They lock eyes, confused. 

“Nekomaru…?”

“Hajime…?”

Realization hits both of them, noticing the position they’re in. They separate fast. Too fast. Hajime launches himself off his bed, and Nekomaru nearly does the same. 

“Wh-what? Whats are you-?” His memory of yesterday hits him like a pile of bricks. His face turns bright red. “O-Oh my god w-we..?”

Nekomaru nods, face also brightening. “I’m so sorry”

Hajime pulls his knees to his chest and mentally dies. “Oh my god oh my god oh my god.”

Nekomaru stands up, slowly stepping towards him. “I’ll go, okay? Sorry, I’m really sorry.”

His fingertips brush the top of Hajime’s head, which is just enough contact to make Hajime reach out and grab his wrist. “No. It’s. Don’t apologize, okay?”

“But it’s my fault, I made you drink the stuff.”

“I made that decision on my own, thank you.” He slowly lifts his head up, tugging his wrist downward. 

He obliges, slowly sitting next to the other boy. “But, I- ugh. It’s my fault because I thought about-“ He cuts himself off, face getting red again. 

“About what?”

Nekomaru looks away from him. 

“Is it because you thought about ki.. k-kissing- oh my god.” He hides his face in his hands, releasing his wrist in the process. 

“Mhm” Nekomaru nods feverishly. 

“But I thought- I thought about it too!” His voice wavers slightly. 

“H-hey! Are you gonna cry?!”

“No!” He lifts his head up suddenly, slamming his hands on the floor. “I’m just! Really embarrassed about the way I acted.”

“Why?” Nekomaru finally looks at him again, cheeks still pink. 

“Because I did a lot of really touchy things that I thought about and those are things I could never do normally? And also I told you about how I-!!! I told you certain feelings that I was probably going to bury deep down and then when you said you felt the same way I just couldn’t control myself and oh my god it was so good and thats why I couldn’t stop! But I feel bad now because I don’t think I could just do that again and I kind of forced you into it and I-“

He’s cut off by Nekomaru pressing his forehead against his own. “Hajime.”

“H-hey! You’re pretty close right now.”

“Hajime.”

“Yeah..?”

“That serum didn’t do anything but force you to do what you truly wanted to. That means it did the same for me, too. What happened yesterday was… a lot, but. You didn’t force me to do anything, okay? I wanted that, too.”

“Do you still want that..?” Hajime stares directly into his eyes, even though he knows he won't find anything to disappoint him. 

“...Yeah.”

It happened slowly, a tilt of the head upwards, and another shifting slightly to the side, but in the end they met in the middle. They stay like that, in a picturesque scene, for an eternity. They both feel a twinge of sadness when they finally separate for air.

“I still want that, too.”

Nekomaru pulls him into a hug, a tight one. Hajime hugs back with equal intensity. He laughs, suddenly, confusing the larger male. 

“Sorry, I just. I was really worried you wouldn’t take it well at all. I was just really wrong.”

“I was too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy!!  
> I promise you this is not the end, okay?  
> They’re still suuuper awkward with each other and ALSO THEY STILL HAVE TO LIKE. let everyone know  
> And ALSO I *MIGHT* make a full NSFW chap.   
> Nothing like some good nsfw to warm your heart. And pants.   
> Im jk  
> Unless? :eyes:  
> Wsbshdnehdnshs sorry  
> Ily! Have a good day!! Mwah ☆


	12. hey!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the author confronts the reader.

heyyyyy  
It's eyes!  
The author!!

Anyways i have come to the unfortunate decision to scrap this story :')  
But fret not!!!  
It's getting a re-write!!

I decided that I really didnt like how the story was pacing out at all, and kept letting it be run by my distate for slow burns.  
originally this was made as a personal writing challenge to myself, as I'm not as avid as a writer as I was when I was in middle school making MLP fanfiction (Lol!!) And was also as a way to provide content to kind of a rare-pair i didnt really see get nearly as much content :(  
hinidai honestly became such a huge comfort ship, and still is.

EDIT: forgot to mention that I made this while I was still mid-game, which really lets you know how poorly planned this was lmao

Recently I came across some lovely hinidai accounts on twitter and it practically made my heart swell!!! (as well as a couple catboy nekomaru accounts which honestly is big brained. I love Nekomaru stans) It made me remember this fic that I honestly had abandoned, because it was turning out like a big dumpster fire.

So I think I'm going to take some time to re-write chapters, and actually read over them as a personal precaution.

Some things to expect:  
-Better pacing!! obviously  
-Character personalities that match the canon personalities better.  
-Personal HC stuff  
-Chiaki not being used as a plot point bc she's one of my faves and going over it now hurts my soul tbh.  
-I am probably getting rid of the truth serum/potion thing because idk i kinda hate it. That whole part was fueled by my previous relationship which I feel like was. unnecessary. I feel like Hajime is demisexual like myself and idk it was. unnecessary horny aha sorry  
-hmmmm TBD??? I'm sure there's more but this is the major stuff rn haha

-[EDIT AGAIN LMAO] More character interactions that yknow. involve literally all of the other SDR2 characters

anyways how is everyone? I've been getting more views on this than I thought I would, so hello!!!  
Have a nice [Insert your current time of day here]!! mwah smooches

EDIT: ohoh yeah baybeee https://archiveofourown.org/works/26298379/chapters/64030576


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